What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Have you ever really seen aliens or UFOs by yourself? Can you share your experience?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What do you mean son?

Isn’t freedom of speech and expression an absolute right?

True - how I loved my mum!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Do you think trump realizes that if he significantly decreases the size of CIA, that there is a higher chance of him being assassinated?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What are the different celebrity lists (A-list, B-list, C-list, D-list)? How does one become a part of these lists and move up or down in status?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What! how could you do that?

How did you get to be a leftist?

Do you know what she said mum?